Recently, Nigerian actor and film producer, Emeka Ike opened up about the hidden battles he fought while married to his now estranged wife and mother of his four children, Suzanne Emma.
According to Mr. Ike, who spoke in an Interview on Channels Television, his ex-wife fabricated lies of domestic violence against him, when in fact, she was the perpetrator.
Mr. Ike said his wife’s concocted lies worked against him, as he lost everything, including his property and custody of his children.
“My secondary school, Saint Nicholas Collage on CMD Road, Magodo was shut down, over N480million investment was shut down and all I heard was “constant battery”. I was even asking my wife at that time if I beat her and she said since I am a star, people are manipulating things.
“I felt I was gullible until I realised she was actually the one behind it. Some ladies are too desperate for a marriage lately and she actually told me that she was not the marriage type, but I didn’t understand it. But the young men need to know that there are plenty of ladies who aren’t the marriage type.
“I was told to go home, my school was shut down, and my marriage was shut down. I came back from America to nothing, my house had been moved. Everything I got that has Emeka Ike was gone,” the actor decried.
Speaking on how the travails in his marriage affected him, Ike said he slipped into depression, and eventually recoiled from public eye, because he couldn’t face the shame.
“Emeka Ike was depressed for some very long time out of some marital whatever and I was hiding, I was in shame for what I didn’t do and that’s the price you pay for being large. I was depressed, I was short circuited for no reason so I had to just hide my face until I knew what was wrong with me,” he said.
Since his outing, the internet has been abuzz with different takes on the issue. A good number of persons have supported and sympathised with the loverboy actor, including an X user @victorikemusic who claims to be his blood brother. According to Victor, Suzanne used to beat up her mother-in-law whenever she visited them.
However, many others have called him out for being a blatant liar, even claiming that the actor has a long history of hitting women.
Emeka Ike vs Suzanne Emma
This is the question on the lips of many people who seem genuinely confused on who is lying and who is telling the truth between Emeka Ike and his estranged wife.
The truth is, no one will ever know exactly what transpired between the two ex-couple, and who should share a larger portion of the blame. Any attempt at it will result in mere conjecture, which will do no good.
However, one thing is clear, theirs was a toxic marriage, and one can only imagine what the children went through mentally and otherwise.
What Happens When Men Are Victims of Domestic Violence?
Whether Mr. Ike’s revelations are true or not, it does not take away the fact that men also suffer abuse in relationships and marriages.
An estimated 1 in 3 men are likely to suffer domestic violence in their lifetime. The forms of abuse could range from financial, verbal, emotional, psychological, to physical.
The heartbreaking reality is that a lot of men going through abuse often choose silence over speaking up, for fear of being ridiculed, judged, misunderstood, disbelieved, and stigmatised.
People often lack awareness about the fact that men can be victims of domestic abuse. Men are seen as strong and capable. Any sign of weakness is unacceptable. This makes it difficult for abused men to get the help they need, given that support services are often geared primarily towards women (who by the way, are more susceptible to violence).
Domestic violence is a prevalent issue in society that can affect anyone, irrespective of gender. The belief that men are only perpetrators, and women only victims does not make it any easier for abused men to be heard and supported.
We all saw the case of Saint Obi, and his tragic end due to domestic abuse. Saint Obi died a sad, lonely man with little or nothing to his name.
We have seen and heard stories of many other men who ended tragically because they bore pain in silence, afraid of what society would say.
What Can Be Done?
It is important to have discussions about men as victims of domestic violence. We need more media that addresses personal stories of men’s experiences with violence to address them locally and globally.
The society should be enlightened on how to respond to abused men. Calling a man demeaning names such as “weakling”, “brown-noser”, or “simp” does more harm than good to both his ego and person. It makes them suffer abuse in silence, which often leads to depression. Many men take to drinking, clubbing, womanising, staying late nights, or working late hours to cope with their troubles.
Designing support services that are specifically for men who are victims of violence will help more men to speak up, and get the help they need to heal and rebuild their lives.
Creating awareness on the general subject of sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV) also serves as a prevention strategy.
Finally, kindness. Kindness. Kindness. Men and women must learn to be kind to one another. No human being deserves to be treated like a door mat. No one should be hurt by the people who should be loving and protecting them.
I applaud Emeka Ike’s strength, and the decision to tell his story, whether anyone believes it or not. Speaking up is the first step to healing. I hope he heals from whatever it was that he experienced. I hope he learns his lessons. I hope he becomes a better man.
Most importantly, I hope he is able to see his children again.
