Mrs. Kuti by Remilekun Kuti is a powerful and revealing memoir; one that left me absolutely jaw-dropped. I genuinely wasn’t prepared for the emotional and personal depth the book delivered. Each page drew me in deeper, and I was blown away by the honesty and vulnerability in every word.
We all know Fela Kuti — the legendary father of Afrobeat, the man whose music placed Nigeria, and Africa at large, on the world map. His legacy in music is undeniable. But through the lens of this memoir, I found his character deeply unsettling.
According to Remilekun, his wife and the author of this memoir, Fela was a liberal man; someone who made his own rules and lived by his own ideologies. He could be sweet and loving in his own way, but also unkind and emotionally distant in very specific, hurtful ways.
One moment that stood out to me was when Fela plainly told her that he was a womanizer and nothing would change that, but that she, Remilekun, was the one he had chosen to come home to every night. This was supposed to be some form of consolation, as though being the “main woman” somehow made the hurt less valid.
What shocked me even more was that Remilekun accepted this arrangement. She reasoned that if she already knew about the other women beforehand, it would lessen the pain and shock. Reading this, my heart broke for her.
I couldn’t help but feel that Mrs. Kuti lived a deeply sad life. People may say they’re fine with their partner’s infidelity, but are they really? Or have they simply convinced themselves they have no choice?
This memoir is an eye-opener, especially for women. It reinforces the truth that we get the love we think we deserve. I believe women need to choose themselves more; to love and value themselves enough to walk away from what hurts. It’s a wake-up call: if you truly love yourself, there are certain things you just won’t tolerate.
Yes, marriage involves compromise and forgiveness; but in Mrs. Kuti’s case, it feels disturbingly one-sided. She seems to be the only one doing all the forgiving, compromising, and accommodating.
What I admire most about this memoir is its rawness. It pulls no punches. It tugs at your emotions. Sometimes you find yourself frustrated with Mrs. Kuti for being too understanding. Other times, you understand her and how deeply love can shape and complicate our decisions.
In the end, I applaud Remilekun Kuti for her courage. Mrs. Kuti is unfiltered, vulnerable, and deeply human. It’s a story that deserves to be read, felt, and discussed.
